


Snowglobe

by timehasa_way



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Christmas, Closeted Character, Hand Jobs, Inspired by a Movie, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 16:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21918754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/timehasa_way/pseuds/timehasa_way
Summary: Inspired by the ABC Family movie of the same name. Jared longs for something to change in the life his mother has built for him, working at the deli she owns and living in the building she owns, where she rents out units to women she thinks are eligible bachelorettes for him. He finds solace in confiding in his friend and coworker and spreading Christmas cheer. When he receives a mysterious package in the mail with a beautiful Christmas snowglobe inside, he finds himself obsessed with a world and a man he can seemingly only dream about. But the magic of the snowglobe holds the exact change that Jared so desperately needs.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki
Comments: 14
Kudos: 65





	Snowglobe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Windstorms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Windstorms/gifts).

> A huge THANK YOU to Windstorms who has been with me on this ride since I started it last year and reviewed this so many times for me! I really appreciate all of your help, bb! <3

Jared sighs as he cuts a few more slices of pastrami, finally stilling the slicer and picking up the pound that was requested, turning and letting it thump down onto the scale to verify its weight. Perfect. If there’s one thing he’s learned from this job, it’s how to eyeball a pound of deli meat. Just what he wanted to do with his life. He folds the wax paper around it, picks it up and turns to wrap it up in plastic. The same white, boring plastic he uses countless times every day. 

Instead, he reaches for the custom “supplies” he ordered on his own, out of his own pocket, though he’s still trying to convince his mother that this is a good idea, and that their company should reimburse him. He ditches the plain wax paper for one a nice shade of emerald green and wraps the meat in a festive red plastic, tying it all off with a gold ribbon instead of just slapping tape over it. He grins at the sight and heads back to the counter with it in hand, reaching across to the customer who asked for it.

“Pound of pastrami!” he says proudly, smiling and nodding at the man, who does a double-take and then looks at Jared like he’s lost his mind.

“Uh…thanks?”

Jared immediately feels self-conscious. He flushes and hopes he hasn’t managed to offend. “Season’s Greetings?” he tries, and the man smiles and takes the package from him.

“I guess you have to make your day here exciting somehow,” the guy says, gesturing to the deli counter, and Jared laughs and agrees.

“God, you have no idea,” he mutters under his breath when he turns back around.

“You know your mother frowns on that whole thing,” Misha says, coming up beside him, tossing off latex gloves, and replacing them with new ones. Jared does the same. “She’s very into uniformity for the deli. Not to mention it occasionally freaks out the customers.” He glances back over his shoulder and gives Jared a knowing look that already has Jared rolling his eyes. “It’s one of your girlfriends.”

“Please.” Jared and Misha both turn back to the counter with smiles, Misha taking an order from another gentleman, while Jared comes face to face with one of their regular female customers. She’s nearly model-perfect, all long legs and blonde hair she tends to twirl around her finger as she blinks big, blue eyes at him. She always makes sure to end up _ his _ customer.

“Hi, Jared!” she singsongs sweetly, and Jared gives her a tight smile.

“Hi.” He keeps the statement clipped on purpose, not wanting to use her name, too, and give her the wrong impression that he’s as interested as she is. Though, if he’s honest, he’s not sure that he actually knows her name, anyway. “What can I get for you today?”

He ignores the hint of disappointment in her eyes, or tries to. It does make him feel bad, and she’s always been nice enough, but this transaction for him is strictly professional. When he takes her order, slices the meats, and goes to wrap them, he hesitates.

“Don’t do it,” Misha murmurs, working at the slicer next to him. Jared looks at him, and Misha just shakes his head. “She’ll think you’re doing it just for her.”

His heart sinks, because Misha’s probably right. But part of him _ wants _ to do it, because he needs the cheer and excitement (as sad an excuse for excitement as it is), and because he feels the need to make up for that sadness in her eyes. He ignores Misha and grabs for the green, red, and gold, feels Misha’s eyes on his back as he takes the packages over to her. It warms him to see her brighten when she sees them and takes them from his hands.

“Aw, how cute!” she squeaks, her eyes lighting up the same way they did when she first saw him. “Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas,” Jared returns, feeling much better about the interaction as he turns back around to face his friend and coworker.

“You sucker,” Misha says, folding his arms and smirking at him.

“I couldn’t help it,” Jared whines, switching out gloves again. “She just looked so _ sad _ . I’m sure she’s a sweet girl. Plus, it’s Christmas! Did you see her face? That’s how people are _ supposed _ to feel this time of year.”

“You and your romantic notions.” Misha teases, elbowing Jared in the arm. “You’d think you’d take her up on her flirting. Or take your mother up on all the women she throws at you.”

Jared rolls his eyes. “Jesus Christ, don’t get me started.”

Misha gasps loudly, covering his mouth in mock horror. “Taking the Lord’s name in vain at _ Christmas _!”

“Shut up,” Jared laughs, shoving him. “You know I’m only it for the commercial aspect.”

“Heathen.”

“I’m going to Hell in a handbasket,” Jared playfully agrees.

“So, what _ is _ the problem?” Misha asks, turning serious, though keeping his tone carefully casual. “Women literally line up here for you. Your mother somehow manages to choose all of Austin’s most eligible bachelorettes as tenants in your building. Are you just not up for a relationship?”

Jared’s mouth goes a little dry. As much as they work together every day and enjoy each other’s company, they haven’t had this conversation before. Now that Jared thinks about it, _ nobody _ has ever asked him that question. Aside from the rhetorical “What’s wrong with you?” his mother sometimes throws at him, wanting him to get married and give her grandchildren, already. But the way Misha asks is open, inviting, suggesting that it’s _ okay _ if Jared doesn’t want those things. Not that the conversation doesn’t still make Jared sweat and fidget. He takes a moment to decide if he wants to say something he hasn’t yet said to anyone. But it would be a relief for _ someone _ to know and understand. He just can’t start with his mother.

“The problem,” Jared starts, pausing to swallow and take a breath, “Is that she keeps trying to set me up with _ women_.”

Misha cocks his head at Jared but rests a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “Have you told anybody else this?” Jared shakes his head silently, and Misha gives him a look that makes Jared fearful that Misha’s actually about to hug him and embarrass him in public, though they’ve got a lull at their counter at the moment. “Well…” Misha lets his hand drop and gives Jared his space. “Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

“No,” Jared admits, looking down at his hands. “No, I haven’t had any secret flings or anything, I just _ know _ . But I haven’t had the guts to actually say it or… _ try _ it?” He says it in the form of a question, knowing it’s not the right word to use, but talking about this at all feels like some sort of strange out of body experience.

“You should,” Misha says, then amends his statement. “I mean, if you want to. I know it’s easier said than done. Finding anybody to date is…well, frankly, it’s a nightmare.” He laughs, and Jared does, too, happy this conversation isn’t a nightmare itself. “But, Jared…things won’t get any better for you if you don’t tell her.”

“I know.” Jared leans against the counter, sighing. “I just don’t know how.”

Misha waits a beat before asking, “Do you think she won’t understand?”

“In a sense?” Jared bites his bottom lip, chews it a little. “I mean, she’s accepting of people in general, but when it comes to me, she’s just so set on me getting married and having kids. Taking on this family business. She’s got this whole plan for my future, and I don’t want it, and I know that’ll break her heart.”

Misha steps forward and opens his mouth to respond, but then his eyes track off to the side, and Jared straightens, knowing Misha’s spotted a customer heading their way. Their conversation ends for the moment.

****

As they’re leaving for the night, Misha stops Jared with a hand on his arm. “I don’t want to hold you up, and maybe it’s not my place to say anything about this, but…all those things your mom wants for you? You can still do them as a gay man. Just maybe not in the same ways. And whether or not you want to is still up to you. You deserve to make your own future, Jared. It’s your life, nobody else’s.” 

Misha waits, looking like maybe he’s said too much or crossed some line, but his expression is as well-intentioned as his words, and Jared does pull him into a hug. “Thanks, Mish. I appreciate it, really.” He laughs as they pull away, tugging his beanie down over his unruly hair. It’s always felt like a security blanket, and even more so now, as his stomach still rids itself of a few little anxious butterflies. “This was a weird day. I always thought that kind of conversation would be…scarier. Or it would be like some big event.”

“I’m glad it was easy,” Misha says. “And I’m glad we talked about it. You know, if you ever need to talk about anything…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Jared elbows him away, light and playful. “Let’s not get too emotional, Collins. I haven’t even decided if I _ like _ you yet.”

“_ Come on _,” Misha goads, throwing an arm around Jared and squeezing, making him squirm. “We’re friends!”

“Nope, no, we’re definitely not.”

“Friends!”

Jared jerks away and shoves him. “_ Acquaintances _.”

Misha stands there, pretending to think, then nods. “That’s fair.”

“Get the hell out of here,” Jared laughs, turning to walk home. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

They go their separate ways, Misha heading in one direction while Jared walks in the other, and Jared feels simultaneously lighter and heavier. It feels good to have told someone, and to have had that someone be supportive. It feels good to have finally _ said it _ out loud. But saying it out loud just makes it more real, makes it more of a _ thing _ to now tell other people to help mold his own future, and that’s a daunting task.

It’s not a long walk home, but it’s still enough time to daydream. He loves this time of year, but he imagines being somewhere with snow on the ground, evergreen trees, a nice, crisp chill in the air and comfortable sweaters. He feels like he’s missing out on the holiday in the warmer climate of Austin, which is why he tends to immerse himself in all the holiday movies he can find, living vicariously through the characters in their perfect little Christmas towns.

As he nears his apartment building, which his family owns, he sees a delivery man standing outside with a package, staring quizzically at the different entrances. He sighs and approaches the man, knowing from experience that the building often confuses people who make deliveries.

“I can help you,” Jared offers, coming up beside him. “Who are you looking for?”

The man smiles at him in gratitude and looks down at the box. “This is for a, um…Jared…Pad…a…”

Jared holds up a hand and smiles. “It’s okay, I gotcha. That’s actually me! Padalecki, right?” He nods, and Jared quickly flashes his ID in his wallet. “Cool. I’ll take it.”

They exchange thanks and Merry Christmases, and Jared carries the package in through the entrance to his building, where he sees a woman holding a pizza box struggling with the elevator. 

“Oh, yeah, the buttons on the first floor don’t work for some reason,” he says as he approaches her, shifting his package under his arm. “You’ll have to go up the first flight of stairs to the next floor and catch it from there. I can show you.”

She sighs in relief and rolls her eyes. “Thank you. I’ve been standing here for way too long.”

“No problem.” He leads her to the stairwell, up and towards the elevators on the next floor, where he pushes the button and reaches an arm out to hold the doors open for her to enter before he follows and asks, “What floor?”

“Seven,” she says, nodding her thanks as she holds the pizza out in front of her.

Jared cocks his head, beginning to feel suspicious. This type of chance encounter happens a little too often in his building, since it’s owned by his mother. Any time there’s an apartment open, especially if it’s on his floor, she becomes a little more..._ selective _ in who gets a lease, depending on how likely she thinks they are to hit it off with Jared. She tends to find women who are also keen on pinning Jared down as soon as possible. “Me, too.” He pushes the button, and the elevator jolts into motion. “Are you…delivering?”

She gives him a quizzical look until she looks down at the pizza box and puts two and two together. “Oh, no!” she laughs. “I live here. Just moved in. I’m in 35. So, I guess we’re neighbors. I’m sorry, my head’s been in the clouds today.” She shifts the box and reaches a hand out to him. “My name’s Gen.”

Jared’s heart sinks. He can’t hide the displeasure in his expression, and he sees her catch it in hers, even as he shakes her hand. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude, it’s just…” He shakes his head and scoffs a little. “My mother actually owns this building, and she’s always trying to bring in tenants to, uh…” he pauses and eyes her, conveying how awkward this is, “…get me married off.”

“Oh.” Gen’s cheeks color a bit, and she laughs nervously. “So, you’re the son who lives down the hall.” The elevator doors open, and she steps out ahead of Jared. “I kind of thought she gave me a little too much information.” She hesitates, turning back and giving him an apologetic look. “And asked a little too much of me, to be honest.”

She’s different from the usual tenants. His mother usually goes with leggy blondes, like the one who keeps flirting with him at the deli. This one is petite and brunette, practically dwarfed by him. His mother is both not grasping that looks are not the primary driver of a relationship and trying a new tactic. Still, Gen seems nice enough and just as put off by the idea as he is.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again. “That she did that to you, I mean. I’ve tried to tell her to stop, but she just won’t let up. And it isn’t fair to you.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” Gen says, waving him off, though she’s a bit stiff in her body language, maybe still a bit put off and unsure about Jared, now that he’s telling her all of this. “I’m not expecting to get a man out of my lease, just a place to live.” Her eyebrows raise and she loosens up a little bit when Jared’s shoulders visibly release their tension. “Wow, I’m glad that’s such a relief for you.”

Jared laughs, embarrassed. “I don’t mean to offend, it’s just been a really weird day.” He looks back at her, feeling oddly like telling her might help them understand each other and move past this initial exchange. In a way, it’s easier. She doesn’t know him and obviously doesn’t have any expectations of him or his future. “I, uh…finally sort of came out to a friend today, but obviously haven’t told my mother yet, and now this.”

It’s Gen’s turn to look relieved, and Jared’s glad that neither of them have to be uncomfortable about the other living so close. Maybe this time he won’t have to time his comings and goings to strategically avoid the new tenant, like he has in the past. She holds the pizza box up. “Want to talk about it over some pepperoni?”

Jared considers it a moment, then nods. “Just don’t tell my mother. She’ll definitely get the wrong idea.”

“Deal.”

****

“So,” Gen pours them both some wine and hands a glass to Jared before settling on the other end of the couch, feet up and grabbing a slice of pizza out of the box on the coffee table, “You gonna see what your mystery package is?”

Jared looks down at the plain brown box by his feet, taped securely, his name and address clearly defined, but no return address to be seen. “Sure, why not?” He sips his wine and sets it down before reaching for the box, breaking through the tape and opening it up. He sifts through packing peanuts, searching for a note, a card, anything, but there isn’t one. There is an object, and he pulls it out, surprised by the heft of it in his hands.

“Wow, that’s _ beautiful _,” Gen says, and Jared has to agree. It’s an old snowglobe, with a large wooden base, a golden key protruding from it. The globe contains just the kind of Christmas village Jared’s always loved and daydreamed about. There are decorated trees, a frozen pond with people ice skating, wooden benches, a small bridge over a creek, an inn, a bakery, a post office, and shoppers in hats, gloves, and scarves. He shakes it gently, watches the snow fly up and then fall back down over it all, mesmerized. He turns the key, and a soft melody plays, entrancing him further.

“I wish I knew who it was from.” He looks back in the box, searching, but comes up with nothing again. It’s odd. He can’t remember the last time he got a surprise gift from someone, and he can’t think of anyone in particular who would send this to him. He’s never seen a snowglobe quite so beautiful before, and he checks it again, looking for some symbol, a manufacturer, anything, but it’s free of any type of identification. “Strange.”

“Got any secret admirers?” Gen asks, and Jared just stares back at her. “Right. Stupid question. They’re not so secret, are they?”

“Not quite.”

Gen’s phone dings with a text message, and she puts down her pizza to grab it, blanching when she sees the message. “Your mother is texting me to see how I like it here and if I’ve met you yet?”

“Jesus.” Jared sets the globe down beside him and rubs at his eyes. “I’m so sorry, she’s way too much. Just…ignore her. Or tell her you haven’t seen me yet. Or ignore her,” he repeats. “That’s a pretty gross violation of your privacy.”

“And _ yours _,” Gen emphasizes. “I know we just met, but maybe you could set some boundaries? Or, you know…tell her you’re into dudes.” Jared knows she’s right, but his anxiety levels up, and she sees it register in the set of his shoulders. “When you’re ready. I guess it’s not easy.”

“I just hope this doesn’t spoil your experience here, when you’ve just moved in,” Jared says, grabbing his snowglobe and getting up off the couch. “I should go. You have a good night. And thank you for the pizza and wine.”

“I didn’t mean to overstep-”

“You didn’t,” Jared insists, when Gen stands and follows him to the door. “It’s fine, really. I just obviously have a lot to think about. I really did enjoy the dinner. Thank you.”

Gen smiles at him, seeing him out. “Thank you for helping me up the stairs.”

Back in his own apartment, Jared leans back against the door after it shuts and closes his eyes, wondering what to do. He opens them again, looking down at the snowglobe as he carries it into his bedroom. He shakes it and sets it on the nightstand, turning the key and flopping onto his bed, watching the flakes fall and letting the melody play.

****

He feels as if he’s just blinked, but he must have fallen asleep. Jared opens his eyes to find himself lying down in a mound of snow, tall evergreens surrounding him laced with white. He sits up quickly, staring in wonder as he takes more time to get to his feet and walk forward, eventually passing the trees that break to reveal a town – the Christmas town from his snowglobe.

Jared’s heart leaps and he laughs out loud as he looks at the people skating, shoveling, shopping. It all feels happy and light, and Jared couldn’t ask for a better dream than this, Christmas lights strung over the tree by the pond and the front of the inn and shops. He walks towards the bridge, over it and down, then spins to take in the whole 360-degree view. Which proves to be a mistake, as he finds that he can still get dizzy in dreams. He falters and falls, hearing a small “oof” as he collides with someone else – someone who catches him in strong arms and keeps him from hitting the snow. The grip feels secure and soft, the sleeves of a thick sweater touching his bare arms, and it’s then that Jared realizes he hasn’t even felt cold yet. But he supposes he wouldn’t freeze in a dream, anyway.

“Oh my gosh, are you okay?”

Jared gets his feet back under him and turns towards the deep voice, suddenly face-to-face with bright green eyes that lead to freckles, that lead to stubble, that lead to full lips and broad shoulders, and…

“Wow,” is all Jared manages to say, a breath on his lips, and the man in front of him tilts his head, curious and concerned.

“You fell,” the guy says simply, then reaches gloved hands out to touch Jared’s arms again. “And you’re not wearing a sweater!”

“I…I’m fine,” Jared stutters, trying to collect himself. His cheeks burn, making him feel plenty warm. “Really, I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine!” The guy smiles, and Jared thinks he might melt into the snow. “I was just shoveling.” He reaches down and picks up the shovel he’d dropped when he had to catch Jared.

“That explains the arms,” Jared mutters.

The guy tilts his head again. “What?”

“Nothing.”

They stare at each other for a moment before Jared reaches a hand out. “I’m Jared.”

The guy beams at him and reaches out to shake his hand, a firm grip. “I’m Jensen. You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No, I’m definitely not,” Jared says, and Jensen lights up even more.

“That’s exciting! We never get visitors here. You should come to the inn, you can get warm and have dinner with us.”

“Yeah.” Jared nods, thinking he’d follow Jensen just about anywhere right now. “Yeah, that would be great.”

Jensen grabs his hand like it’s no big deal. Like everyone here just holds hands, because it’s the friendly thing to do. Jared holds on and follows him through the doors of the inn, the people inside crowded around a tree, a fireplace, and a piano.

“Everyone, this is Jared,” Jensen announces, stepping aside and gesturing to him. “He’s visiting us for Christmas!”

A chorus of “Merry Christmas, Jared!” spreads throughout the room, and Jared grins and says it back, enjoying how cozy and festive it all is.

“Perfect timing!” an older woman exclaims, coming in from another room with a turkey that she sets down on a dining table nearby. “Fresh-baked cookies coming over from the bakery, too!”

Jensen turns to him, smiling. “Isn’t this great?”

“It’s wonderful,” Jared agrees, grabbing Jensen’s hand and squeezing it, because this is a dream. What does he have to lose? It seems to make Jensen even happier, his smile going a little wider as he squeezes back.

The door opens behind them, and a redhead breezes past them with a tray full of cookies. “Merry Christmas, everyone!” She sets the cookies on the table by the turkey and takes in the crowd, smiling. “Please, enjoy!” She catches sight of Jared and looks just as excited to see a new visitor until she glances down at where his and Jensen’s hands are joined, and her expression falters a bit. It surprises Jared, seeming out of place in context. Besides, isn’t this _ his _ dream?

“Danneel, this is Jared,” Jensen says, introducing him. “He’s visiting us for Christmas.”

Danneel checks herself and grabs a cookie to hand over to Jared. “Merry Christmas, Jared.”

Jared lets go of Jensen’s hand and takes the cookie, thanking her. She reminds him of the blonde in the deli, only she’s sadly pining over _ Jensen _ and not him. He takes a bite and immediately closes his eyes and hums in appreciation of the perfect bake and delicious chocolate. “Oh, these are _ amazing _.”

“Yeah?” She seems genuinely surprised and pleased to have a stranger enjoy her baking, and Jared warms to her. “Well, thank you! I’m glad you like them.”

“Danneel’s our best baker,” Jensen says, nodding towards her. “Everything she makes is perfect.”

Danneel blushes in response, and Jared wonders if Jensen’s aware of how she feels about him. He doesn’t seem to be, just happy to be open and friendly with everybody in the room.

Jared’s jolted awake by his phone blaring his alarm for work and vibrating in his pocket. He groans, realizing he’d fallen asleep in his clothes, and his phone is vibrating much too close to his crotch, where he’s already half-hard. _ Jensen _, he thinks, groaning again as he pictures that face from his dreams. He reaches into his pocket, silencing his phone and pulling it out to toss it elsewhere on the bed, his other hand rubbing over the growing bulge in his jeans.

As suddenly as he woke up, he’s got his jeans open and dick pulled free of his boxers, stroking hard and fast, panting heavily. It doesn’t take him long to come, imagining being held in those strong arms as he does, those lips on his skin. His chest heaves as he comes down off the high, soft and free. He’s never had a dream like that before, never had a fantasy like that over a man from his dreams, and it’s like finally opening up about his sexual orientation has allowed him to explore and feel things he hasn’t before. He’s always known he wasn’t attracted to women in that way, but he’s still always held himself back from being who he really is. But now? Now he’s dreaming about some dream-stranger named _J__ensen _ and waking up hard.

He throws an arm over his eyes, delaying getting out of bed a little longer, because _ God _ , he wants Jensen, but Jensen isn’t even _ real _, and that isn’t fair in the slightest.

****

_ It’s strange to have a visitor, _ Jensen thinks, though not with much concern. _ We never have visitors. _ His normal positive demeanor is emphasized a bit, just a little merrier than usual, and he smiles and waves at the cook from the inn. 

“Jared was nice, huh?” he asks her as she passes by where he stands with his shovel. 

“Hmm?” she responds, expression a bit blank before brightening again. “Oh, of course! Very nice!” 

She moves on her way, and Jensen goes back to shoveling.

****

Misha eyes Jared as he wraps probably his tenth package in his seasonal décor and greets each customer with a smile, practically bouncing with each step. He knows he’s being obnoxious, but he can’t help how improved his mood is today.

“_ Dude _.” Misha finally catches him between waves of customers. “What’s with you today? I know you’re really into Christmas, but even for you, this is excessive.”

“It’s nothing,” Jared says, though he can’t stop grinning. “I mean, it’ll sound crazy. I just had a really good dream last night, that’s all.”

“And?” Misha prompts, waving him on. “What was this dream about?”

“Oh, it’s stupid.” Jared shrugs, like it’s no big deal, but he still feels the thrill from it in his bones. “Somebody sent me this snowglobe - It wasn’t you, was it?” Misha looks clueless and shakes his head, “And I guess it got into my head. I ended up dreaming I was in the town inside of it, and it was the perfect little holiday town. And there was this guy who was just…”

He trails off, and Misha smirks at him. “So, _ that’s _ what this is about? You had a wet dream?”

Jared flushes and drops the napkin he’d started fiddling with, trying to fold it and tear it to make a snowflake. “What? No! I-I mean…not…exactly?”

Misha laughs and shakes his head. “So, tell me what he was like.”

Jared pauses. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? Come on, I’m proud of you. You’re finally talking about what you’re into, that’s good.”

“Well…” Jared shifts and clears his throat. “I mean, he was just really nice, you know? He had these eyes that were just so _ green _, and these…really full lips…” He checks Misha’s expression and sees it still open, so he keeps going. “He was almost as tall as me, and he was really strong. He had these great arms and shoulders from shoveling snow all the time. He caught me when I fell in the snow, and then held my hand as he showed me around. He was kind of perfect.” He lets the hint of disappointment he felt that morning creep back in again. “But I guess dreams are like that, huh?”

Misha nudges him. “I’m sure you can find someone real who will be just as perfect for you. It might just take a while, that’s all.”

When Jared gets home again, he hovers in the doorway to his bedroom, staring at the snowglobe on his nightstand. He keeps an eye on it as he walks into the room, too drawn to it as he turns and drops down onto the bed, closing his eyes.

His heart leaps when he opens eyes to see the wintry trees again. “_ Yes _!” he yells aloud, running through the trees to get back to the town. He spots Jensen over the bridge, shoveling just like before. “Jensen!”

Jensen turns to him and smiles, and the sight nearly floors Jared all over again. “Hey, Jared! You’re back!”

“Yeah,” Jared says, feeling breathless. “I was really hoping to come back and see you again.”

“Me, too,” Jensen answers, and it makes Jared’s heart flutter. “I was so happy to meet you for the first time, I figured the second time would be even better! Actually…” He turns away from Jared and bends down to pick something up that he’d left on the bench next to the pile of snow he’d shoveled. “I got you something!”   
  
Jared stares at the box now held out to him by Jensen, the festive wrapping reminding him so much of the way he’s been wrapping meats at the deli. What a way for his subconscious to remind him this is a dream. Still, he feels all warm inside when Jensen happily offers him the gift. “Oh, Jensen, you didn’t have to do that. I mean, I didn’t…”

“Just open it!” Jensen nudges Jared’s arm with the box, and Jared takes it, opening it up to find a pair of red mittens that match the ones that Jensen is wearing exactly. He looks back up at Jensen, who’s now frowning. “Though you’re still not wearing a sweater.”

“That’s okay,” Jared says, setting the box down on the bench and pulling on the mittens. He knows it looks ridiculous, wearing mittens with his t-shirt, but who cares? This is a dream! “The sweater doesn’t matter, these are still perfect without it.” He means it, too, the insides so soft and warm, he can’t imagine anything more comforting. “Thank you, Jensen!”

“You’re welcome!” Jensen’s happiness at how much Jared likes the gift makes Jared wish he could stay here forever. “Merry Christmas!” 

Before Jared can respond, Danneel approaches the two of them, friendly as ever, but still wary of their interaction. “Hi, boys! Will you be joining us for dinner again tonight?”

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Jared says, giving her his full attention. He truly likes her, and hopes they can all be friends, regardless of what happens. ...What is he thinking? This is a _ dream _. “Thank you so much for inviting us.” 

Joining the group for dinner again, Jared takes his new mittens off to eat. He briefly wonders how much weight he’ll gain from eating a Christmas meal every night, then makes a mental note to stop needing to give himself mental notes that this is a dream, because it’s getting old. The only thing to do is sit back and enjoy it. It sure beats real life.

****

_ What a great friend _. Jensen smiles to himself, happy that Jared is no longer just a visitor or stranger. He just fits into the same world Jensen’s been living in, with all of his good friends and neighbors who are excited about the holidays. It makes Jensen feel warm inside to have someone else to help spread his Christmas cheer. 

****

“What’s up with you?”

“Hmm?”

Pizza at Gen’s is seemingly becoming a bit of a tradition in Jared’s life, and it’s nice that he can share how embarrassing and overbearing his mother can be with someone. It’s nice that they can laugh about it, at least, and that he’s managed to make a new friend through it all. That’s never happened with his mother’s other prospects.

Gen throws a napkin at him. “Exactly! You’re barely paying attention! You’re so distracted lately.”

“I’m sorry,” Jared apologizes, straightening up where he’s been slouched on her couch. “I’m just-”

“Tired, I know,” Gen finishes for him, setting down her glass of wine. She waits a moment before speaking again. “Are you okay? You just seem...different. Like you’re always tired. Or you can’t wait to leave here to _ go _ to bed.” 

“I’m sorry.” He’s repeating himself, and he knows it, but the apology is genuine. “I don’t mean to make you feel that way...like I don’t want to be here. It’s just…”

The silence spreads, and Jared doesn’t quite know where to go next. “It’s just what?”

“It would sound crazy if I told you.”

Gen turns to face him more, legs crossing up under her on the couch. “I’ve been here for you through your mother and your sexual awakening, and I’m new here. I promise I’ll still be here no matter what you tell me. I know you’re not crazy.”

Jared swallows. He appreciates the sentiment, more than he can say, but the truth is, _ he’s _ not sure he isn’t crazy. “I’ve been...having these dreams.”

“What, like...like the one you told me about before? With the snowglobe guy?”

Jared nods. “It hasn’t just been one. It’s been...continuing. It’s like...I _ know _ these people now.”

Gen doesn’t respond immediately, and Jared feels dread pooling in his belly. This is where he finds out something’s wrong with him. “So, you’ve been _ seeing _ this guy? In your dreams?”

“Not so much,” Jared answers, trying to ignore how insane it all sounds. “I mean, not _ yet _ . He’s kind of...oblivious. But we’re friends. All of us are. I can’t explain it, it’s just been really _ nice _.”

Another pause, and Jared can hear his pulse pounding in his ears. “Do you think maybe this is just something you’re internalizing?” Gen asks. “It’s obviously something you _ want _. Maybe it’s time you came out to your mom? Started dating actual men? I think maybe your subconscious is just showing you what you want and what your life could be like.” 

It’s actually a rational explanation, and one that Jared is grateful for. He swore he was about to be written off as crazy, but Gen has proven to be a much better friend than that. “Maybe.”

“You know,” Gen reaches for her wine again, taking a sip, “If you want me to be with you when you tell her, I can. Even though she’ll totally get the wrong idea when we go see her together. But if you need support…”

“Thank you.” Jared reaches over for her free hand and squeezes it, returning the smile she gives him. “I mean it.”

****

The truth is, Jared really _ can’t _ wait to go to bed. He winds up the snowglobe and drifts off smiling as he listens to the music. Then he “wakes up” in Christmastown, USA, or whatever the hell the town is called. He’s never actually found out, and he honestly doesn’t really care. All that matters is that Jensen is now waiting for him when he comes through, standing there grinning, shovel tossed off to the side.

“I knew you’d be back,” Jensen says, happy as ever, and Jared stands, brushing the snow off his body.

“Of course,” he steps closer to Jensen, hands skirting down Jensen’s arms, and it’s the most forward he’s been yet, his heart thudding a little as he finally reaches out and touches someone he actually _ wants _. “I’ll always come back.”

Jensen’s brows knit together, and he looks at Jared a little bit strangely. Before Jared can react and pull back, thinking he’s made Jensen uncomfortable, he sees realization dawning on Jensen’s face, and he recognizes it as well as his own. It’s the look of someone realizing they have different feelings for someone that they didn’t expect.

“I, um…” It’s the first time Jensen’s ever seemed flustered, and he slowly moves to take both of Jared’s hands in his, looking down at them in some sort of awe and maybe confusion before looking back up at Jared. “I’m really glad you do.”

“Yeah?” Jared asks, smiling a little and squeezing Jensen’s hands. 

Jensen takes a moment and then slowly grins back, warmth in his eyes. “Yeah.” Then he looks down at their hands again. “Your mittens!”

“Right!” They’ve kept the box by the trees in the snow, and Jared turns and bends to retrieve it, putting the mittens on. Then he pauses, curious. “Weren’t you going to teach me how to ice skate?” 

“Yes!” Jensen claps his hands together and shakes his head. “I can’t believe you’ve never done it!”

“There’s a lot of things I’ve never done,” Jared murmurs under his breath. “Alright. Where do I get skates?” 

It’s laughable, really, Jensen trying to coach a man even bigger than himself how to move around gracefully on the ice. But through all of the flailing, falling, helping up, and holding on for dear life, they manage it. By the time Jared’s skating well on his own, he’s feeling comfortable enough to skate up to Jensen, grab his hand, and slowly drift around the pond together. He _ still _ doesn’t have a sweater, but he doesn’t need one with the warmth he feels inside and the way Jensen looks at him when they finally come to a stop.

“That was really nice,” Jared says quietly, moving in close. “Thank you for teaching me.”

Jensen’s eyes are a little dark, breathing a little heavy as he looks back at Jared. “My pleasure.”

It’s the perfect moment for a first kiss, but it’s that moment when Danneel comes around calling for them. Jensen turns away, distracted, and Jared follows his gaze, sees Danneel’s expression crumple at how close they are, and once again gets frustrated that his dream is making him feel bad.

“Oh, hey, Danneel!” Jensen says brightly, oblivious as always. “Is it time for dinner?”

Danneel takes a moment to force a smile. “Not just yet, but soon. I...just wanted to let you know.”

Jared’s jolted awake by a loud pounding on his apartment door, and he springs up to a sitting position in bed, heart pounding. He grabs at his chest, trying to calm himself and get his bearings. The pounding continues, but something else feels...off. Or, actually, _ soft _. He looks down at the hand on his chest and freezes, something going cold in him even as he realizes his hands are still encased in warm red mittens. 

His head spins for a minute, almost passing out, and he probably would, if it weren’t for the incessant banging on his door that’s surely going to piss off his neighbors if he doesn’t get up and stop it soon. But he barely knows how to function now, because how the hell did he bring these mittens with him out of his _ dream _? 

He forces himself out of bed, stumbling and panicking, grabbing at the mittens to get them off and toss them onto the floor. He rushes to the door, chest still heaving in his panic, and slowly unlocks and cracks the door.

Misha glares at him from the other side, forcing the door open and pushing him out of the way. “Do you have any idea what time it is?! You just didn’t show up for work, wouldn’t answer your phone, what the fuck were you…” Misha pauses and looks him up and down. “Were you _ sleeping _?” 

Jared shakes a little, feeling more scared as each second ticks by, because he _ didn’t _ have any idea what time it was, or how much time had passed, or how his dreams were crossing over into real life. “I-I’m sorry, I…” He swipes a hand over his face, still shaking, and he backs up into the couch, grabbing onto it for support.

“Shit, Jared, are you okay?” Misha asks, his tone changing as he comes closer, reaching a hand out to Jared’s shoulder, then feeling his forehead. “Are you sick? You don’t feel warm.”

“No, no, I’m not sick,” Jared says in a rush, even though he feels like he’s going to vomit. But maybe something _ is _ wrong with him. He swallows a lump in his throat, swallows against the nausea. “I don’t know what’s happening to me.” 

“Yeah, that makes two of us,” Misha says, coaxing Jared into an actual seat on the couch and sitting down next to him. “What the hell happened?”

“It wouldn’t make sense to you,” Jared answers, shaking his head. “It doesn’t make sense to _ me _.”

“Is it the dreams?” Jared suddenly feels like he needs a bag to breathe into, and Misha rests a hand on his back, trying to calm him. “Maybe you should see someone? I mean, I thought the dreams you were having were _ good _ dreams, but now, if they’re interfering with your life, I don’t know.”

Jared closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. “They _ are _ good. _ Really _ good. But now, I’m… I’m not sure if they’re just dreams.”

There’s a pause, and Misha shifts on the couch. “What do you mean?”

“What I mean is…” Jared trails off and takes his time standing up and heading back into the bedroom, almost hoping that the mittens won’t be there, but they are, haphazardly thrown onto the floor. He picks them up, their softness and _ real _ness both horrifying him and making him feel safe and warm, a knee-jerk reaction to Jensen’s gift. Walking back out into the living room, he holds them out for Misha to see. “I know how fucking crazy this is.” His voice breaks a little, because this is beyond anything he ever expected to be telling someone. “But Jensen gave me these. I was wearing them in my dream, and when I woke up, I…”

He trails off again, useless, and Misha just stares for a couple of long moments. “That… That doesn’t make sense.”

“Yeah, I _ know _ that.” He drops to just sitting on the floor, across from Misha, the mittens still held loosely in his hands. “But why else would I even _ have _ these? I’ve always lived _ here _, in Austin, I’ve never needed stuff like this.” 

Misha doesn’t have an answer, and they just sit in an awkward silence for a while, Jared staring down at the mittens as tears fill his eyes. It all feels like some kind of cruel joke, because he _ wishes _ it were all real. He would _l__ove _ for it to be real, but it just can’t be possible. And now it’s somehow affecting him so much that he’s losing time and missing work. It’s scarier than anything else in his life, including opening up to his mother.

To his surprise, Misha comes over and sits on the floor, too, arm wrapping around him. “I’m sorry, I don’t really know what to say. But maybe you should see someone? Maybe you really need to deal with everything you’re feeling inside, and everything you’ve kept hidden. Would it help to stay with someone? I’d be okay with keeping a roommate for a bit. You’d have company, and someone to help you keep on track.”

Jared shakes his head, feeling lost. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe you could stay with Gen?” Misha suggests. “That’s your neighbor up here, right? You’d still be close to home to get what you need, but you’d be in good hands.”

Jared snorts. “Yeah, just wait until my mother finds out.”

Misha hesitates before speaking again. “Maybe you could stay with your family? You could take the time to finally tell her more about yourself.”

“I don’t know,” Jared repeats, sighing and dropping his head on Misha’s shoulder and dreading dealing with any of this, whether his real life or his dream life. “This is all so crazy.”

“Not crazy,” Misha corrects. “Just...interesting.”

Jared chuckles, even as he can still feel the lump in his throat. “Thank you. I’m so sorry I missed work. Must have sucked working alone.”

“Any time. And don’t worry about it. I mean, don’t do it again,” Jared chuckles again, “But I was worried about you. It’s never been like you to do that.”

“Yeah.” Jared heaves another sigh and lets Misha comfort him while his chest tightens with fear. What scares him even more is he still feels tired, though he slept for longer than anybody should, but he’s not sure if that’s just the wear of the situation and emotions. The _ only _ thing keeping him grounded and sane in this moment is that he isn’t alone. “I’m not sure what _ is _ like me anymore.”

****

_ What happened? _ Jensen’s heart pounds in a way it never has when Jared just suddenly disappears before they’ve even had dinner. He doesn’t like the feeling it gives him. It’s the opposite of joy, and it scares him.

Danneel looks at him with wide eyes. “Where did he go?”

Jensen shakes his head, feeling a little breathless. “I don’t know.” 

Danneel pauses before asking a question that throws Jensen even more. “...Where does he come from?”

“Home,” Jensen says immediately, because it’s what Jared’s said, and because it makes sense. Doesn’t everyone have a home of some kind? 

“But where’s _ home _ , Jensen?” She says it in a tone he’s never heard before. It’s gentle and cautious, like she’s _ concerned _ for him. He bristles, feeling defensive.

“I don’t know,” he admits. He can’t come up with anything biting to say, both because it isn’t his nature and because she’s right. It’s true that Jared is a mystery. It just didn’t seem to matter until now. But now… Now, something happened when he and Jared were skating together. Now, he _ misses _ Jared, and it hurts that he could just disappear like that. “But he’ll be back. He’ll always come back.”

****

Taking Misha’s advice proves somewhat helpful. Jared crashes on Gen’s couch for about a week, and he thankfully doesn’t even have to explain much to her. But he’s sure that his moping is getting on her nerves. As terrified as he was by the effect the dreams were having on him, he _ misses _ the snowglobe and Jensen. Without being near it, in his own bed, he hasn’t had the dreams at all. He tries to tell himself that it’s stupid, that he shouldn’t miss something that arguably wasn’t even _ real _ (though he still can’t explain the mittens that he’s left hidden in his apartment), but he can’t help it. It scares him that it feels a little like an addiction, and one that gets harder to battle every day. 

When he goes back to stay at his apartment for the night again, he tells himself that it’s because he’s spent enough time away, and that he needs to stand on his own two feet. He’s also made plans to have his mother over for dinner the next day, with Gen as backup. He knows it’s time to tell her, and he certainly can’t do it from _ Gen’s _ apartment. His mother will probably get the wrong impression as it is, walking in and seeing that Gen’s joining them.

For a moment, he thinks maybe he should put the snowglobe away and end this altogether. But when he sees it, he still feels that thrill again, still thinks of _ Jensen _, and he can’t resist the pull to his bed.

When he wakes up in the snowy trees again, his heart nearly bursts with happiness. He stands up, eagerly looking around for Jensen and faltering when he sees him. 

Jensen is not his usual happy self. He’s back to shoveling nearby, but his shoulders have drooped, and the sadness emanating from him doesn’t fit the scene. Jared takes a step forward and calls his name. 

“Jensen?”

Jensen turns quickly, probably giving himself whiplash, and drops the shovel. Then he pauses. His expression conveys a mix of emotions, elated to see Jared, but also hurt. “You didn’t come back. You said you’d always come back. You just..._ left _.”

“Oh, Jensen.” Jared’s heart breaks, and he feels more confused than ever, moving closer and reaching out tentatively to touch Jensen’s face. With everything he’s experienced outside of the dreams now he can’t help but ask, “Are you...real?”

He can barely breathe through the question, and the hurt in Jensen’s eyes intensifies, lip slightly quivering as he speaks again. “What kind of question is that?” He moves back, away from Jared’s touch, and looks at his hands, at the empty box in the snow by the trees. “You don’t have your mittens.”

“Oh, I… I forgot them,” Jared says, and instantly regrets it, as he keeps layering one offense upon the other. “I mean, I didn’t even know that I could take them with me when I’m not here, but I guess when I didn’t take them off, they were just...there.”

Jensen shakes his head, and Jared feels his disapproval more strongly than he’s ever felt anyone else’s in his real life. “What does that even mean? Where do you go when you’re not here?” 

“Home,” Jared says, taking a deep breath and trying to explain himself. “Listen, Jensen, I know this is crazy, but I thought that when I came here, it was all just a dream. I go to sleep at home, and I wake up here. And it’s all been the _ best _ possible dream I could ever imagine, and that’s because of _ you _. But I… I didn’t know you were real. I don’t even know how any of this is possible.”

“I don’t understand,” Jensen says, and Jared can see how much all of this is troubling him and why, and his heart hurts. “If this is all a dream to you, then...what does that make me? And if only one of us is _ real _ , how do you know that it’s _ you _?”

“I don’t know,” Jared answers honestly, and Jensen’s insinuation that either one of them could be a dream gives him pause and makes his stomach flip. He shakes it off, unable to handle the thought. Suddenly he realizes he needs all of this to stop. He needs to go back to having a normal life, as much as he craves what he finds here, and as painful as the thought of leaving Jensen is. “I’m sorry, I wish I had an answer for you. I just know this place is perfect. The whole town, the people, it’s all magical to me, and I didn’t mean to ruin that. But I think maybe I just shouldn’t come back.” 

Jensen snaps to attention, glaring back at Jared. “You’re leaving again?”

Jared thinks then that he should have put the snowglobe away instead of deciding to come back. He _ needs _ to put it away, for Jensen’s sake. “I think I should. You had a perfectly happy life here before I came along, and you have people here who love you.” He hesitates for a moment, because in this perfect dream-world, he would want Jensen to be with _ him _ and no one else, but he has to think of what’s fair. “You know Danneel has feelings for you, right?”

Jensen’s eyes go wide in shock, and Jared hopes he doesn’t give the guy a heart attack with all these revelations before he leaves. “What? What do you mean?”

“I mean, she’s in love with you. She probably always has been. And my being here has hurt her, too.”

Jensen drops to sit down in the snow, much like Jared had ended up on the floor when Misha had woken him up from his last dream. “But we’re friends. We’re all just friends here.” He looks up at Jared, looking for help, seeming so lost. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” Jared says, taking a step back before he makes anything worse. “But I think I’ve done enough here. I’m so sorry, Jensen. I promise you I won’t bother you anymore.”

He hears Jensen call to him as he takes another couple of steps towards the trees, where he always appears when he shows up in this world, but it’s too late. He’s gone far enough, and he wakes up, eyes immediately filling with tears as he turns away from the snowglobe and curls up into a fetal position, the emotion too much to bear. 

****

_ No. _ Jensen stares into the trees, and he feels crushed. Heartbroken. For a moment, as he watches the spot Jared usually leaves through, he wonders if...maybe...

“Jensen?” 

Jensen closes his eyes at the sound of Danneel’s voice, wishing _ he _ could vanish as well. All of this is so confusing, and if what Jared said is right…

“Are you okay?” Her hand is on his shoulder, and he can only turn to face her, feeling completely helpless. “Oh.” He takes some comfort in her empathy, as her own expression crumples at the sight of his, and she hugs him tightly. “What happened?”

“Jared was here,” Jensen answers, as she lets go. “And then he left again. And this time… I think he’s not coming back.”

The silence from Danneel seems to speak volumes after what Jared said about her. “Do you know why?”

“He said something about this not being _ real _, and that he was sorry for bothering me. He said I already had people who loved me.” Jensen stops speaking and glances at Danneel, noting the way she freezes. “Do...you…?”

Danneel looks away, flushing and blinking rapidly. “Uh, I…” She clears her throat, and fidgets where she stands. “I thought you’d never notice.” She laughs nervously, and Jensen’s heart breaks all over again. 

“Oh, Danneel, I’m sorry.” He’s apologizing for both not realizing her feelings for him and not feeling them in return. He shakes his head, scoffing. “All this time you’ve felt this way, and I just thought you were my best friend. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.”

He can feel the hurt in her, and he wishes he could take it away. But she still steps forward and takes his hand. “I _ am _ your best friend. And I’m sorry Jared left you like this.” She smiles and tries to make light of the situation, winking at him. “Maybe you deserve someone who _ won’t _ do that?” He makes a half-hearted attempt at laughing, and she squeezes his hand. “It’s okay. I know you don’t feel that way about me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry your boyfriend’s a _ jerk _.” She looks just as surprised as Jensen is that she said it, and they both look at each other with wide eyes before breaking out into laughter. It makes Jensen feel better, and he feels a little warmer again knowing that he does still have a good friend in her. She grows more serious then, and looks at him with less concern and more care. “You love him, don’t you?”

Jensen thinks. “I guess I do. I don’t know, I just know I’ve never felt anything like this before. Before Jared came here, everything was just…”

“The same,” Danneel finishes for him, and he nods. “I noticed that, too. Trouble is, nobody else seems to be bothered by it.” As if to prove her point, the cook from the inn passes by, and Danneel stops her. “Do you think you can set another place for Jared at the table again tonight?”

“Hmm?” It’s the cook’s usual response to what would have been an unusual question, before Jared appeared in their lives. And, as usual, she just shrugs the question off, smiles in her own cheery way, and moves on. “Oh, of course, dear! Everyone’s welcome at Christmas!”

Danneel turns back to Jensen, clearly disturbed by an interaction she wouldn’t have thought twice about before. “I think we’re different now, you and I.” The statement gives Jensen a bit of a chill. It’s uncomfortable, but at the same time, he’s glad he’s not in this alone. 

“I was thinking…” Jensen licks his lips, looking back at the trees, then back at Danneel, trying to muster up the courage to make this decision, “I was thinking maybe I could follow him.”

“What?!” Danneel nearly falls over at the suggestion. “To _ where _?!”

“Well, I don’t know,” Jensen says, shrugging. “But…” He looks around at the only place he’s ever known, and somehow it seems dimmer, less exciting, less..._ merry _. 

“You won’t be happy here anymore, will you?” she asks, and she seems sad and hurt again. Jensen opens his mouth to apologize, and she shakes her head and cuts him off. “You should go. I don’t know where he goes, or where he might be when you get there. I don’t know if he’ll stop being a _j__erk _. But if you love him, and if it will make you happy… You should go.”

Jensen hugs her again, tighter this time, and for longer, unsure of when they’ll see each other. “What would I do without you?”

“Not make reckless decisions?” she laughs, pulling back and patting his shoulder. “Hey, Jared always comes _ in _ that way, too, right? I’m sure you could always come back and see me. Are you scared?”

“Terrified,” Jensen answers, nodding. “But I have to try. I just hope he still wants to see me.”

“If he doesn’t,” Danneel says, raising an eyebrow and seeming vaguely threatening, “You bring him back here to me.”

****

When he has the heart to get out of bed, before his mother and Gen come over, Jared moves the snowglobe from his nightstand into his bedroom closet and mourns the loss. He thinks that maybe it’s better that this happened, in a sense, because now he’s so affected by this loss that he really couldn’t care less about coming out to his mom. It suddenly doesn’t seem like such a big deal when his heart’s already been broken. He doesn’t know how he manages to get groceries and cook, but he does, and the pleasant smell of the food seems a sharp contrast to everything he’s feeling.

“Whoa,” Gen says when he answers the door, stepping in and eyeing him with concern. “Are you okay? Are you really that nervous about this?”

Jared laughs dryly. “Actually, no. It’s not that, just don’t worry about it. Everything’s fine.”

“Everything doesn’t _ seem _ fine,” Gen says, but she doesn’t have much time to pry before Jared’s mother knocks. 

“Here we go!” Jared says, tossing his arms up and ignoring the worried look Gen’s giving him as he opens the door and forces a smile onto his face. “Hi, Mom!”

“Jared!” She comes in and hugs him, and Jared hadn’t realized just how much he’d needed a hug until now. “Thank you for having me over. This doesn’t happen very often.” Her eyes, predictably, go straight to Gen, and she grins wider than Jared’s ever seen, clearly thinking she’s hit the jackpot this time with her choice of tenant. She reaches for Jared’s hand and squeezes it. “Do you have something to tell me?” she says sweetly, practically vibrating with excitement, and in that moment, Jared feels like he can’t let two people down in one day. But, then again, if he’s already done it once, what’s the difference?

“Why don’t we sit down and eat first?” he suggests, gesturing towards the dining room. 

This is supposed to be _ his _ dinner at _ his _ place, for a conversation _ he _ needs to have, but Jared mostly just sits through the compliments on his cooking and the awkward smalltalk between Gen and his mom. He’s tuned out for a lot of the time, hearing them but _ not _ hearing them, the pressure building inside of him. He’s about to just blurt out what he got them both together for when a loud _ thunk _ emanates from his bedroom. All conversation stops, and both women look at him curiously, though he’s just as confused. 

“...Let me go check on that,” he says, actually relieved to be able to step away for a moment. “I’ll be right back.”

He gets into his bedroom just in time to see the closet door slowly opening, his heart nearly stopping with fear. But then he sees an equally scared Jensen tentatively stepping out. If Jared weren’t experiencing such a shock, he would be clever enough to think of a closet joke, but as it is, his brain is scrambling to catch up with what’s happening. 

“Oh my God,” Jared breathes, quickly closing the bedroom door behind him, heart racing now. “What are you… How are you here??” 

“Where am I?” Jensen counters, voice shaking. “I just… I just went into the trees, where you always show up. I thought that maybe I could find you, and then… Is this your home?”

“Yes,” Jared answers, feeling a bit dizzy and leaning back against the door. He opens his mouth again to say more, but he can’t. He’s at a loss. Just as Jensen looks about to speak, there’s another sound from the closet, and Jensen stumbles forward as Danneel falls into him through the open door. 

“Danneel!” Jensen exclaims, catching her before she falls further. “What are you doing here?” Which takes the words right out of Jared’s mouth.

Danneel uses Jensen to get her balance and straightens up, collecting herself, as she’s visibly just as freaked out as both men are. “I couldn’t let you do this alone. And I couldn’t stay there and just go back to a normal life.”

They look at each other and smile softly, and Jared can see there’s some sort of understanding between them now, and a true friendship, if nothing else. 

A knock on the bedroom door interrupts the moment. “Jared?” Gen calls quietly, and with the shock of Jensen and Danneel showing up in his bedroom, Jared had almost forgotten that he had dinner guests.

“Uh, _ yeah _! Yeah, I’ll… I’m coming right out, just give me a second.”

“Ooookay,” Gen draws out, then, quieter, “I don’t know what’s going on, but please hurry it up, I’m getting tired of being your girlfriend.”

He hears Gen walk away, but his bigger concern is the pain in Jensen’s expression. “Girlfriend?”

Danneel is glaring at him now, and Jared holds up his hands in defense. “No, no, no, it’s not what you think, she’s _ not _ my girlfriend. My mom just _ thinks _ she is.” Both of them stare back at him in confusion, and he buries his face in his hands and groans, trying to get his thoughts together. “Look, I can’t explain right now, but I _ will _, alright? I promise. Can you please just stay here, and keep it down, and give me some time to take care of what’s happening out there?” He jerks his thumb back towards the bedroom door. “I will come back and explain everything to you, I swear.”

They all stare at each other again until Jared finally nods, opens the door, and leaves, taking that as his cue to get on with this nightmare. 

“Sorry about that!” he says, sitting back down at the table and ignoring the looks he’s getting from his mom and Gen. He offers no explanation. “Where were we?” 

“Well, we-” his mom starts, and Jared immediately cuts her off, finally just blurting out, “Mom, I’m gay.” Silence spreads between them all, and he can feel Gen looking at him like he’s lost his mind, not for what he’s said, but for the way _ everything _ is going down at this dinner. He doesn’t look back at her, or look at his mom, instead staring down at his largely untouched plate of food. “There. I said it.” There’s a little more silence, and he finally glances over at Gen apologetically. “That’s why Gen’s here. She just came over to support me when I finally told you. I don’t know how you feel about it, I don’t know how much that destroys all of your hopes for me and the future, but you have to know, and I have to be myself.”

“Oh,” is all his mom finally says to break the silence. She eventually follows it up with another “Oh,” and Jared looks up when he hears something different in her tone and sees realization and regret in her features. “Oh God, I’ve been so overbearing. I’ve been so…” She suddenly looks like she’s about to cry, and Jared’s just about had it with putting that expression on people’s faces. “I’m so sorry,” she says, finally _ really _ looking at him, and Jared tears up immediately, suddenly realizing that expression on her face isn’t his fault, and she’s actually acknowledging the way she’s made him feel. “I didn’t mean to… I don’t know how I didn’t realize how terrible I was being.”

“You’re not terrible, Mom,” Jared chokes out, stray tears managing to slip down his cheeks. “You just had a dream, for what you wanted. Sometimes dreams just affect other people more than you realize.”

“I’m so sorry,” she repeats, then turns to Gen. “And I’m sorry to you, too.” Gen nods in acceptance, and his mom gets up and comes around the table to him. He stands, and she hugs him, _ tight _. “I want you to be yourself. Don’t let me or anyone else stand in the way. I love you.”

Jared turns his face into his mom’s shoulder, his tears wetting the material of her shirt. “I love you, too.”

****

When Jared closes the door behind his mother, he feels much lighter than he has in a long time. “Thank you for being here,” he says, turning back to Gen. “Really. I know how awkward that must have been, and you really didn’t have to.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Gen says, shrugging it off. “I’m just glad it all turned out okay for you. Plus, I got an apology, too!” They both laugh a little, relieved to have it all behind them. “Feel better?”

“Yeah.” Jared nods and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I really do.”

“Great. Now what the hell happened in your bedroom?”

The moment comes crashing down, and Jared falters, then decides to just roll with it. He needs someone else to see this and believe it, too. “Come with me.” 

When he opens the door, Jensen and Danneel are sitting on the bed, looking bored and lost, a little worried, and Jensen a little dejected.

“Gen, this is Jensen and Danneel. Jensen and Danneel, this is Gen.”

Gen stops in the doorway and looks back and forth between Jared and the newcomers. “Jensen, like...the Jensen in your dream?”

“It’s not a dream,” Jensen murmurs, and Danneel rests her hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah.” Jared nods and sits down next to Jensen, who fidgets nervously. “That Jensen.”

He watches Gen watching them, taking the whole scene in, so ready to protest that this isn’t what’s happening. But then he sees her recognizing the people he’s described to her in the past. “Okay, so… So, Jensen and Danneel are real people you were actually seeing, and you just made up the whole dream thing, because…?”

Jared shakes his head. “No, it _ was _ a dream.” Jensen stiffens beside him. “I mean, I guess it actually _ wasn’t _ , but I _ thought _ it was, except…” He stops and just gestures with his hands at the two guests in the room, not knowing how else to explain it. He sees another realization hit Gen, and she backs up a little, pointing at Jensen and Danneel.

“Why are you two dressed like you’re in the Alps?” 

“What?” Jensen asks, confused, as Danneel simultaneously shifts and murmurs, “It’s hot in here.” 

Gen waits another moment before barking out a laugh. “Oh, yeah, sure okay!” She turns and heads away from the bedroom, and Jared goes after her.

“Gen, wait!” 

“Okay, so suddenly we’ve both just _ lost _ our minds, and dream people are real, is that what’s happening right now??” she shouts, whirling back around to face him. 

“I mean…maybe?” Gen huffs and turns to leave again, but he catches her. “Okay, okay, sorry, I know _ exactly _ how you feel right now, I’ve been freaking out about this for God knows how long now. But you believe it, right?”

Gen blinks slowly, takes a deep breath, and rests a hand on Jared’s chest. “I need to go have some wine.” She turns and leaves, the apartment door closing behind her.

“So...she’s _ not _ your girlfriend?” 

Jared turns at the sound of Danneel’s voice, her and Jensen having followed him out of the bedroom. “She’s not,” he confirms, sighing. “My mom thought she was. She’s been trying to set me up with a woman for a long time, but Gen’s just a friend. She was just here to support me when I told my mom that I’d rather have a boyfriend.” He looks at Jensen, who straightens up a little. Danneel nudges him, and he steps forward.

Jensen eyes him cautiously, like he wants to forgive Jared, but not too soon. “You can’t just leave like that, you know. You can’t just show up and change everything and then leave us behind.”

“I know.” For possibly the first time tonight, Jared thinks before he speaks. “This whole situation… I just wasn’t even sure what to believe. It’s all so strange. You know now what it feels like suddenly being in a different world. I didn’t know what to do, and then when I finally figured out that it was real, I...I honestly thought I was just ruining things for you. I didn’t _ want _ to change things for you, back where you were happy.”

“But you already _ did _ ,” Jensen emphasizes, with just a hint of anger. “You can’t take it back. And now…” He pauses, looking back to Danneel, who nods at him and offers him a supportive smile. “Now I’m _ not _ happy there. Because I know you’re _ here _. You… You made me feel things. Things I’ve never felt before.” 

“I’m sorry,” Jared says, feeling it deep in his chest as he moves closer to Jensen. “You did, too. For me. I never wanted to leave you, and when I did, it _ hurt _ . I missed you so much, and I _ wished _ that you could be here with me.”

“Well, I’m here!” Jensen throws his arms up and gives a halfhearted laugh. “What now?”

They wait, as if someone else will answer for them, and Danneel eventually touches Jensen’s shoulder and says, “I’ll give you two some time alone,” before disappearing back into the bedroom, closing the door behind her. 

“What now?” Jensen repeats helplessly, and Jared steps in close, touching Jensen’s face again, just like the last time they were together in Jensen’s world, and his heart leaps. 

“I think...maybe…” He says it as if he’s about to offer a real solution, but Jensen’s looking back at him, and he can feel that pull between them, the undeniable chemistry he felt when they were ice skating together, so close to their first kiss. He says nothing more, just leans in and brushes his lips against Jensen’s, and he can’t even think anymore, just feels warmth throughout his body when he moves to kiss Jensen again and Jensen kisses him back. 

Before he knows it, Jensen’s hands are on his hair, and his hands are on Jensen’s waist, pushing him up against the nearest wall. He’s kissing Jensen deeply, their tongues meeting, breathless and hot and hard. And, well...Jensen’s hands on his hair feels a little odd, because he’s still wearing his mittens. 

Jared breaks away, laughing, and Jensen looks at him quizzically before Jared grabs one of Jensen’s mittened hands and holds it up. He can tell his hair is staticky and sticking out wildly, and they both settle a moment before laughing together, Jensen’s laugh music to Jared’s ears. 

“We, uh… We should cool down and let Danneel know everything’s okay.”

“Yeah,” Jensen agrees, but doesn’t move away until he kisses Jared one more time. “She’ll be happy to know.”

****

Jared knocks on Gen’s door and leans in when she cracks it open and glares at him. 

“Anybody else show up in your bedroom?”

“Not since dinner, no. Can I come in?” Gen sighs and opens the door wider for him.

“Sure. Welcome to my normal apartment that doesn’t have any cursed objects in it.”

“It’s not cursed,” Jared says, half-offended, and she softens a little. “I mean, it’s not _ normal _, but...they’re good people. I promise. And Jensen is…”

Gen leans back against the closest wall and manages to crack a smile at him. “You’re in love with him.”

Jared rubs at his chest, fidgeting where he stands. “I think I might be. I’ve never felt this way with anyone.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you. Now what do you want, aside from making sure I haven’t descended into total panic?”

He chuckles awkwardly, and winces a little as he says, “You want a roommate?”

Gen blinks at him. “Are you serious?”

“A little,” he says, conveying that he knows it’s too much to ask. “Look, they don’t _ want _ to go back, and I can’t make them. And I don’t want them to, either. Now that they know there’s this other life, they can’t just go back to shoveling and baking cookies, like nothing happened.” 

“But how can we explain them suddenly being here?” Gen asks, the “we” in her statement heartening to Jared, saying that she wants to help.

“I’m working on that. I think I can at least get Jensen a job with me at the deli without anyone asking too many questions. Danneel, I’m not sure yet, aside from talking to some friends at bakeries around here. But she’ll need a place to stay, and she literally has _ nothing _ right now. She’s sweet, she’s a great baker, and she’ll go above and beyond to support her friends. Sounds a little familiar, right?”

Gen rolls her eyes at the compliment, but she smiles. “Well, minus the _ baker _ part, maybe.”

“She likes you,” Jared says, offering more of an incentive. “She’s heard about what you’ve done for me. It’s a lot like what she’s done for Jensen. I think you two could get along really well.”

“Really?” Gen raises an eyebrow. “Are you trying to set me up, Padalecki? Sound a little familiar?”

Jared laughs and holds a hand up. “_ No _, God, no. If you’re not comfortable with it, it’s fine. I just have to try. I owe it to them. We can always all crash in my place until we figure something else out.”

Gen sighs and walks over to Jared, poking him in the chest. “You tell her that if she prefers ‘women’s’ clothes and products and doesn’t want to hang around you two mooning over each other all day, she can come and stay here. I’ll help her get settled.”

Jared nearly crushes Gen in a hug, and she laughs against him. “Thank you. I’m so glad I met you. I do actually owe my mom for that.”

“Whatever,” she playfully pushes him away. “Go tell your boyfriend he can have you all to himself.”

****

There’s an odd tension between Jared and Jensen when they’re finally completely alone in his apartment, and Jared can only describe it as sexual tension. But this is new to both of them, and he feels like there’s more to talk about before they move any further. He makes Jensen some hot cocoa, something that’s at least familiar to him from his previous life, and they sit together at the dining room table. The snowglobe sits in the middle of it, Jared having just explained its significance in bringing them together.

“Are you hungry?” Jared asks, watching as Jensen sips at his cocoa and obviously finds comfort in it, hands clasping the mug like it’s a lifeline. “Do you need anything else?” He hasn’t been able to get Jensen out of his mittens and into borrowed clothes just yet, but he figures they’re functioning a little like a security blanket - like his beanie - at the moment. 

“I don’t know,” Jensen answers, taking a couple deep breaths. “I don’t think so. I think I just need some time. This is all so…” He trails off, motioning to the snowglobe, and Jared understands the inability to find a word that encapsulates their whole situation. They’ve both talked through trying to figure out who and where the globe came from and have come up with nothing. “You’re sure Gen’s okay with taking Danneel in?” 

Jared can see Jensen’s concern for Danneel there, his fear for a close friend suddenly being separated from him in a new world. “I promise you, she’s in good hands. I wouldn’t leave her with anyone I didn’t trust with my own life. She’s safe. And if you want to see her at any time, you can. She’s our neighbor.”

Jensen nods, shaking his head as he tries to get his thoughts together and taking another sip of cocoa. “Are you really okay with this? With me being here?” 

It must be hitting Jensen like a ton of bricks right now, that he’s just suddenly thrust himself into someone else’s life without fully knowing that he’d have a place here. He took a huge risk coming through that snowglobe, leaving a safe shell of a world that never changed. 

“I am,” Jared says confidently, wanting to soothe Jensen as much as he can. “We will figure this out. I promise. And I want you here. I wanted you here with me from the first moment I met you, and I mean that.” That warms Jensen, puts a hint of a smile on his lips. Jared shifts, licking his lips before asking his next question. “Are _ you _ okay with being here?” A million other questions run through his mind related to that - _ Do you miss the only place you’ve ever known? Do you regret leaving? What made you leave? - _but he remains quiet, waiting for an answer.

Jensen drains his mug and settles it on the table. He pauses, looking down at his hands, and they shake a little as he finally pulls off his mittens and touches the table without that soft barrier, grounding himself in this new place. Jared can’t explain how happy it makes him to see Jensen starting to settle in. “Before you showed up,” Jensen starts, still looking down at his hands, “I actually don’t remember much. I mean, I _ knew _ everyone, and the town, and my job, but I never thought about it. It was like everything just... _ was _.” He looks up at the snowglobe, at the town he came from. “I guess you were right. We were all part of something that wasn’t real.”

Jared shakes his head, feeling terrible for ever suggesting Jensen wasn’t real. “You’re here now. You’re alive, Jensen. There’s nothing fake about you.”

“I know that,” Jensen answers quietly. “But you should’ve seen it. Danneel and I talked about it. After you left.” He turns his attention to Jared. “I think you showing up did something, but just to us. I don’t know how, I can’t explain it, but it’s like the two of us woke up, and everyone else was just…” he turns back to the globe, “...part of _t__hat _. It made it almost scary. It wasn’t perfect anymore. We were too different.”

“And...you two…?” Jared clears his throat, not wanting to press too much on a sensitive issue.

“We’re friends,” Jensen says, giving a half-smile. “We talked about how we both felt. And she wanted me to find you. Though she was mad at you for leaving me.” Jared chuckles and looks away, hating that part of things himself. “But she still thought I should try this. She’s a good friend.”

“She is,” Jared agrees. “And I’m glad she came with you.” Jensen fully smiles at him then, and Jared can’t help but return it, happy that through all of this, at least they all understand each other. 

****

When Jensen finally changes into one of Jared’s shirts and a pair of loose sleep pants, they stand awkwardly in the living room, unsure of what to do. 

“You must be exhausted,” Jared finally says, gesturing towards the bedroom. “You can take the bed tonight. I can sleep on the couch.” He can feel his body heating up as they’re standing there, the tension building again, but he’s nervous himself, and he doesn’t want to push anything. 

Jensen shifts on his feet. “I don’t wanna take your bed from you. There’s...plenty of room?” He says it in the form of a question, and neither of them move for longer than is comfortable. Jensen’s the one who flushes and gulps, looking away. “Why do you make me feel this way?”

“What way?” Jared asks, too quickly, and he tried to tamp down his anticipation, to keep his pulse from racing.

“I don’t know.” Jensen seems flustered, a little embarrassed, and Jared sees the slight heave of his chest, the quicker breathing. He won’t allow himself to look lower, can’t. But Jensen steps closer to him, tentatively reaches out, fingers skimming down Jared’s arms. “Like earlier, when you kissed me.” He says it, and Jared grows hard, Jensen’s lips too close to his again. “Like I really need you to touch me.”

Jared reaches out for Jensen’s hips, stops just short of thrusting his own forward, skims his hands up Jensen’s sides. He feels and hears Jensen shudder, puff of breath against him, and he leans in and kisses Jensen again. Jensen moans and immediately kisses him back, hands fisting in the back of Jared’s shirt. Their bodies press together, both of them hard, and Jared loses his breath while Jensen whimpers and jolts against him.

He pulls back just a little and fumbles with the drawstring on Jensen’s pants. He’s about to pause to ask if this is okay, to tell Jensen they don’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to, when Jensen grunts and helps loosen the pants himself. Jared looks down to see the pants fall and pool at Jensen’s ankles, sees Jensen’s dick hard and wet, and wraps his hand around the thick shaft, feeling a thrill at the pleasured moan Jensen lets out. He’s never done this for another man before, and he strokes slowly, sticky fluid over his fingers as Jensen grabs onto his shoulders for support. He follows the sounds Jensen makes, grips tighter, strokes faster, but Jensen hasn’t done this before either, and it doesn’t take long for him to come. Jared’s free hand supports Jensen’s back, and he holds him through his orgasm, through the aftershocks, letting him come down and go soft in his hand. As Jensen catches his breath, Jared looks down at the come on his hand, his shirt, the bulge in his own pants.

“I’m sorry,” Jensen breathes, still shaking. “I didn’t...I’ve never…”

Jared kisses his forehead. “You have nothing to apologize for. I just wanted to make you feel good.”

Jensen chuckles a little. “I’ve never felt so good.” He looks at Jared, a high flush on his cheeks, eyes a bit lidded, body a bit boneless. “Should I…?” He reaches down, fingertips brushing past Jared’s dick in his pants. 

Jared groans, but shakes his head a little, hair falling in his eyes. “You don’t have to. I know this is all so fast.”

Jensen presses a kiss to Jared’s lips as he loosens his pants and lets them drop to the floor. He drops to the floor himself, to his knees, and it’s more out of his own fatigue than anything else, but he still looks up at Jared, wanting to please him. His strokes are even slower, more tentative, but Jared still moans, thrusts into Jensen’s fist, encourages him. In truth, it won’t take him long to come, either, and when Jensen’s thumb slips just underneath the head of his dick, he pushes away, gripping himself and stroking through his own orgasm. He feels weak in the knees, but Jensen’s back on his feet now, moving in close to kiss him again. 

“Why did you stop me?”

Jared laughs a little to himself and gets his breath back before answering. He just didn’t want to come all over Jensen’s face their first time together. Instead, there’s even more on him, and he’ll have to do some cleanup in this room. “Not because of you,” he reassures. “I just want you to be comfortable.” Jensen kisses him again, and Jared’s never felt so at ease, even in his own home.

They both clean up and collapse into bed together, Jared happy to be able to wrap himself around Jensen as he falls asleep, with no need for a dream life anymore.

****

Back at the deli, Misha stares at the two of them until Jared finally looks back at him. “What? You said you were happy with this.”

“I’m happy with the extra help,” Misha clarifies, then looks past Jared to watch Jensen putting deli meats in festive packaging and humming Christmas tunes to himself. “I just can’t believe there are _ two _ of you now.”

“Yeah, but you like him, right?” Jared asks, quieter, a little nervous.

“I like you both just fine,” Misha says, tossing a hunk of meat on the slicer. “And I’m happy for you. Even if the backstory _ is _ a little suspect. Has he met your mother yet?”

Jared shakes his head. “Not yet. I think I want to get him a little more acclimated to things around here first.”

Misha nods. “Probably a good idea. I still can’t get over his reaction to the delivery truck. But, hey!” He pats Jared on the back. “He’s adjusting remarkably well. At least he’s smart.”

“Of course he’s smart,” Jared says, lifting his chin, “He chased after _ me _, didn’t he?”

“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Misha rolls his eyes, “I thought you were a pain in the ass to work with _ before _ you were satisfied.”

“Just getting started!” Jared laughs, turning to help Jensen with the packaged meats he’s just wrapped. They might bump into each other and laugh and flirt a bit more than they should at work before handing the packages over to their customer, who just happens to be Jared’s blonde admirer.

She takes the packages slowly, eyeing them both, and Jared falters a little. Jensen, not knowing the history or understanding the significance of the moment, just grins and says, “Merry Christmas!”

It takes her a moment, but she looks down at the wrapping and back up at them, and she smiles probably the most genuine smile Jared’s seen from her yet. “Merry Christmas!” she returns, and she gives Jared a nod before she turns and leaves, as if to say she’s happy for him. 

Jared’s heart nearly bursts, and when they turn back away from the counter, he leans in to press a kiss to Jensen’s cheek, Jensen smiling and nudging him with an elbow. 

Misha comes by and pushes at both of them. “Back to work, you disgusting lovebirds.” He winks at Jensen. “Good job, though. You’ll work circles around Jared in no time.”

“Oh, in your dreams,” Jared scoffs, and Misha holds his arms up and shrugs.

“Dreams come true, apparently!”

****

_ Dreams come true, _ Jensen thinks as he settles into bed beside Jared again, and it’s amazing how quickly and easily this has started to feel like home. A cozy apartment, work with good friends, shared dinners with Gen and Danneel, and Jared curled around him at night. The seasons may change here, and it may not always be Christmas, but this is merrier than his snowglobe world ever was. 


End file.
